Training with purpose. How I changed my mentality to achieve results.

I  used to always be asked why I train, why I go to the gym? 'Wouldn't you rather spend the time doing other things, you're always at the gym Robyn!'.

Then one day back in 2012 a guy approached me at the gym and asked me. You train so hard Robyn, are you happy with the results you're getting? I gave a blank look, actually more of a 'how dare you' look as he was implying I was looking the same all the time.

It was at that point where I really questioned why I was going to the gym. Was it habit? Was it to counteract the copious amounts of food I used to eat? Was training yielding results? I had no real purpose, it just became so embedded in my routine. Finish work, go gym.

My food back then didn't compliment my training and my training never complimented my food. I definitely always ate more than I should have and just ate according to hunger, not a goal.

It was that moment when I started noticing other people's training behaviours at the gym. The cardio bunnies, the ego lifters, the socialisers, the bench hoggers and the list goes on. Did anyone here have a purpose? Was everyone's goal to be 'healthy and fit 'or were they too counteracting the copious amounts of food they were eating.

It was then months later I was encouraged to 'compete'. I had no idea what that was at the time, all I knew was to follow my coaches diet and training protocols for 12 weeks and I would look 'good' for stage. So here I was eating and training with purpose.

Everything I did had meaning and headed towards a goal and I enjoyed every moment of it. The discipline, the hunger, the intensity, the focus.. it truly reminded of what it was like being an athlete again back when I used to be an elite basketball-er.

WOW, is this what it feels like to really train with purpose?! 12 weeks had past, I jumped on stage and there I was reaching my goal and then tomorrow came. Was there no purpose to training anymore? I reached my goal and here I was stuck, back to where I started. Even though I was praised so much I just got skinny, entered the wrong category and had digestion issues. Is this what training with purpose ultimately meant. To restrict your life and live tunnel visioned until your goal was reached?

Four weeks later I moved to Dubai and started to shift the way I thought about health and fitness discovering the true mean of a healthy and fit lifestyle.

I started to incorporate the following 4 things:

Removing the end date:
I found that I was always put an end date to my gym and nutritional efforts. It was either a holiday, show, event etc.. An end date no longer exists and suprisingly I managed to effortlessly achieve consistency.

Ceased the negative thoughts and self-worthless conversation:
I stopped talking to myself every time I looked in the mirror. I realised I was mentally abusing myself and grabbing fat bits wishing it was gone. I was always so mean to myself and even at my lean stages in life I would still find areas to criticise. The bullying stopped.

Stopped the comparisons:
No more comparing myself to those around me and to those that I would follow online. We all have a different genetic make-up and I will never look like anyone and better yet no will will ever look like me!

No more food restrictions:
The more I placed food restrictions the more it led to self sabotaging behaviour and endless binging. If I feel like chocolate I eat it, I don't 'reward' myself with food, I learnt to love myself and my choices.

As Lorna Jane preaches: Move. Nourish. Believe.

Beating PCOS - Real food is my medicine

POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME, three words that impacted my life... for the better.

I have recently been diagnosed with PCOS, a very common condition among us women that isn't spoken of much. I think I always knew in the back of my mind that it was this, our self diagnosis Google ways.

Over the years I have had irregular menstrual cycles, epic bloating and laser hair removal wasn't as effective as it should have been.

My biggest symptom was my bloat, it was very embarrassing and not only was it embarrassing it kept me very unsocial as I literally did not fit into anything. Most outings were food or drink outings and I knew I could not consume anything as I felt I would explode. 

Recently, post comp I ate more processed sugars than I should have. Psychologically it wasn't easy getting back on track as I could now eat anything I wanted with no restrictions. I found that after my first show I was much more lost and had developed this unhealthy relationship with food which I thankfully grasped better the second time round.

My situation at the time also didn't help. I live alone in Dubai, was in the transition of finding a new job and my grandma passed away, so all these environmental factors triggered emotional binge eating habits. The condition accelerated my weight gain post comp, my symptoms amplified from abs to bloat in a matter of hours and here I was feeling back at square one.

When I finally mentally got on top of things I started to clean up my diet and paid attention to my body experimenting with different kinds of food. I found that anything high in sugar (something that spiked my insulin) triggered my bloat and this was no ordinary bloat.. 

I now reveal the bloat..

BEHOLD! I look 6 months pregnant I know..

When this kept happened I frantically Google'd to see if anyone too had this symptom and I barely found anything. I decided to then post on my personal Facebook page to see if anyone else was dealing with these horrible symptoms and condition, particularly athletes competing as we have to work 10x harder then anyone else, pretty much felt like I was pushing water up a hill! I came across two Athletes in Australia Tamika Webber and Sarah Ting who openly talk about this, not to mention a lot of friends who messaged saying they were also dealing with this!

WOW is all I could say. I received so many messages and after I posted the above picture on my Facebook Fan Page, my inbox was flooded with women saying they too have that symptom but find it so embarrassing and never speak of it.

Now everyone wants to know the cure.. but unfortunately there isn't, it's something we have to manage, to be more in tune with our body. Our body is more sensitive to carbohydrates so I had to be more conscious of what I ate and the timing of my meals, all of a sudden I was eating like an athlete, not even prepping for show. Had high protein/high fat breakfast, small meals throughout the day and carbs around training. What? The solution was eat like an athlete? All of a sudden I was dieting without dieting and it didn't feel like comp prep but more a way of life as I knew I would pay the price with a bloat! Was my diagnosis really bad news? I guess not, it truly taught me the whole element of 'balance' and a healthy 'lifestyle', it's a blessing in disguise and if you are readying this too then I hope you too find the positivity to push forward.

Yours truly,

PCOS Warrior